Off & Running!

Yippity skippity...I foud a team mate yesterday! I know I'm supposed to be blogging about all things wedding but I promise that this ties in...

To aid in my search in finding an honored teammate for my marathon, I decided to email our district PR contact, Dianne, in hopes that she could put me in touch with someone. I explained that I was running (ok...jogging/walking) in a marathon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training & that, though we have a designated team mate, I would love to pledge my run toward someone close to me. I have blessed to not have anyone in my circle of family & friends touched by blood cancer. Now that I've become involved in the cause, I realize how truly fortunate we are to remain untouched by such an awful epidemic. So I asked Dianne to connect me with a child or employee in the district that I could run for.

Asking for a partner wasn't a totally selfless gesture, it's hard to do this alone & I figured that we could inspire each other. It will be inspiring to know that someone will kill themselves 26.2 miles for you, and it's encouraging to know that you can't quit because someone who's fought way tougher battles is counting on you to finish. Imagine my surprise when she called me back 5 seconds after I clicked 'send' and said that she was a lymphoma survivor, and asked if I would want her as a team mate. I'm telling you, God is truly amazing.

Dianne & I spent time talking & it's like she was one of my oldest friends. We have so much in common and...*drum roll to the best part*...she's getting married too! Woo-hoo! i told you I'd tie it in. So Dianne & Chuck are planning a totally selfless wedding in which all of their guests will fund raise & walk for the 'Light the Night' campaign the night following the ceremony. I love it! Why didn't we think of anything so wonderful & humanitarian? Probably because we'll really need all of those towels and place settings, but I really admire the choice to celebrate a higher cause. I'm kind of irked at all of the pressure to go green because it just seems false. The only way to have a really green wedding is to not invite anyone so that they save gas, not take gifts so that they don't have to be wrapped, and wear a paper bag. Other than that, it's a false concept & one that is highly overpriced. Not that I'm against saving the earth but, let's face it people, we only do a small portion of what needs to be done. Consistently doing a small part is better than a trendy, fake wedding effort and that's it. *stepping down off the soapbox*

How did I start on that? Oh yeah, talking about Dianne & Chuck's Brangelina-like nuptials. I just think it's so sweet. And they have such a great story- no I won't post it here because I've already told a lot of their business anyway. I'm really looking forward to getting to know Dianne & I can already tell we'll be more than team mates, but friends. Don't tell the others but I think we'll be the hottest team out there for sure.

Barack the Vote!

*DISCLAIMER: No, I don't really think Hillary is a ho, but that picture was just way too funy to pass up. I was seriously laughing out loud. I have a weird sense of humor like that.*

Woo-hoo! We now have our nation's first black Democratic nominee for President. Am I the only one that was glowing with pride at work this morning? I don't have a cool Obama '08 tee to wear so I chose to sport black instead. No one else may get it but I felt symbolic. I never thought I could see something like this in my lifetime. I was only hoping that my kids would be lucky enough to experience it (at least I had half a hope with Jesse Jackson in '88) but to actually have it happen and be able to share the significance with them is phenomenal. Of course, at their age, they really don't care. They don't see the big deal in skin color (for discriminatory purposes) so Obama's feat is lost on them, but I will still make them celebrate nonetheless. I'm just that kind of mom.

This is such an amazing day for black people. I wouldn't say it's an outstanding day for America necessarily because, somewhere, there are redneck klansmen getting drunk & pulling on hoods for the long haul. No doubt a lot of closet racists will have to take out their anger on someone today. A few more black people will get pulled over or hassled by the cops, the gas station attendant may be a little more snippy, and white co-workers may whisper at the coffee machine but that's the price of progress and it's well worth it! Of course, I say that because I am not personally the subject of racial oppression at the present moment but, should the course of my day change, I guess I would be ok taking a traffic ticket because we could possibly have a black president soon. I would still be smiling (which might make the officer even madder) and even ask him if he was following the election. I can be a jerk to traffic cops sometimes.

But in the grand scheme of things, I am super excited. I know I'm supposed to be keeping everyone up to date on the wedding planning, but I feel I may as well offer up a fair warning that an Obama '08 sticker may be mixed in with your favors at the end of the night. I hope every person attending my wedding is a registered, voting, voter (because there is a difference!). Is that too much to hope for?

*singing* Say it loud...he's Barack & I'm proud...

My Soapbox Moment

Can I just take a moment to rant about how absolutely ridiculous it is to insist that this is my wedding...but that I'm going about it all wrong & ruining my family's lives in the process? I love my family, I do (we've been through this) but I am so sick of being made to feel guilty for everything. I have been relatively accommodating throughout this process- there have only been a few major factors that I would not budge on:

1. I wanted a great photographer and we were lucky enough to find them.
2. I want a great DJ and we're working on that.
3. I want an adult only reception because we can't possibly afford to feed everyone and their kids.
4. I do not want anyone there that can not share our joy in our marriage including exes, back-stabbing friends and- if need be- family members.

I do not feel bound to invite anyone. We are scraping together a miracle to fund our dream wedding and I want the day to be every bit as wonderful as I imagine. I won't compromise my own happiness or sanity because someone who can't stand me should be invited. Going back to my two year old days, it's just not fair. I consider myself a pretty easy going person, I choose my battles, but I won't feel guilty for setting aside one day to indulge in my own happiness. I just want to have a great day. I don't want to stress that there's someone who can't even stand me floating amidst my reception. I don't' want to think that there's anyone in the room that doesn't fully support my union with my husband and yet, if I cave in to the pressure I'm feeling, that will be exactly the scenario. I hate to sound so forceful on the subject, and AJ has been such a good sport about listening to me rant & rave on this topic many times, but I have been engaged for 6 months. If anyone hasn't found it in their heart to talk to me about it by now (or talk to me at all for that matter), we probably don't need to celebrate my wedding together- family or not.

Extra funny stuff I just liked!

In unrelated wedding nonsense, I found these hilarious pics at idosugar.com, one of my favorite blogging sites. I had to share- you'll see why.

Beacause no self respecting girl would be seen in Taffeta! Too bad graffiti doesn't offer spell check.

Remeber my post about crazy Bachelorette parties? Case in point. I bet they had one of those tacky kits too.

No words are even necessary for this one *shaking my head*

Gone, but not forgotten

So, like almost every other blogger in the world, I decided to take a vacation this past weekend & just enjoy life. We passed the days watching 100 episodes of Law & Order, debating what kind of junk food to eat and wishing that those lazy days would never end. I enjoyed my long weekend- so much so that I was dreading the thought of Tuesday- but knowing the summer is quickly approaching has made it easier to cope. I don't have much wedding news to report, it's been quiet in the world of matrimony lately. *knocking on wood*
If you care about my life outside of wedding planning, I enjoyed a mother/daughter tea with my New Mom & Sisters on Saturday. I absolutely loved it. Maybe because that sort of thing is new to me, or because of the wonderful company I had, I left with the most loving feeling in my little heart I just thought it would explode. I was in awe of how warm and accepting everyone has been of me. Not that I'm some kind of circus freak that would automatically be rejected, but I've known my fair share of mothers who were unwilling to part with their sons. I admire my NM for embracing me rather than seeing our marriage as losing him. She actually stood at the podium & addressed her daughters one by one (including me! wow!) and told us all how much she loved us. *I'm getting all choked up writing this...sigh* No one has ever done anything like that for me. I was always raised to assume your family loved you, just because they were family. It felt so validating to actually hear someone say it (in front of other people no less). My uber-talented sisters made me so proud, I feel so lucky to have fallen in love with not just a wonderful man, but a truly amazing family. I feel like I was adopted by the Oprah- without all of the zillions of dollars and stuff but with the awareness, caring and affection that makes a person feel at ease. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I do. (I do...I just have to keep repeating that...lol) But there's just this whole other level of appreciation when you're given a choice in who you call family. And now I am done with my personal therapy session...
*climbing down from the soap box*

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

It's a common understanding that the Bride is the center of attention on her wedding day. Though I do want to look beautiful and lovely and all those other great adjectives, I have a hard time accepting a lot of individual attention without feeling vain. Imagine my thoughts when I came across this while shopping for a cake design.

Ok, my first thought was the obvious: she just had to be black. She had to be. No one but a sista would even think of having herself, updo & all, as the wedding cake. *not on the cake mind you, but as the cake itself* Our Caucasian counterparts watch the wedding channel & know how to incorporate the style or pattern of their dress onto the design of the cake. Only our people would put themselves on the whole thing, why?

That was my second thought by the way: Why? It would make me feel weird to have a huge group of my closest family & friends dining on what may be my skirt, or arm, or head made out of cake. Would it be like serving chicken with guests asking for a particular piece? Ewww. *shudder*

Needless to say, I am going for a much simpler cake design. Seeing as how neither myself or Prince Charming is too keen on cake, wedding or otherwise, we're pretty laid back about the whole thing. (I know, that really puts you at ease as a guest right? Don't worry- we'll still make sure it's tasty for you!) I have been known to cave in to a great red velvet slice (or two) but I'm more of a pie girl at heart. Has anyone ever heard of wedding pie? I don't think it would stack quite as pretty as a cake, but it would sure be yummy! The General owns the title to sweet potato pie & my Aunt Dine is the Queen of coconut pie (watch out Paula Deen!)- too bad AJ won't touch either with a 10ft pole. He's weak for chocolate chip cookies but the smell of chocolate makes me want to barf so those are out (sorry honey). That puts us back to cake I guess.

Probably something simple, elegant & easy to cut so we don't end up butchering it before anyone gets a taste. We're not exactly pros when it comes to joint cutting. I definitely don't see myself going for any crazy shapes or shrines created out of cake, and I think AJ will feel the same. Actually, he's a guy & if cake designing is anything like tux fitting, he'll like anything to get it over with. = )

So who ends up as the fairest one of all? While I will admit I want to shine on our special day, I don't expect to have any competition from my cake.

Wedding Planners are for Quitters...

Yep, I said it. Wedding planners are for quitters. And I am officially a quitter.

Thanks to my wonderful new mom (known hereafter as NM) I had my first meeting Saturday with Lynn, a Groom's family friend and phenomenal wedding planner. She did a wonderful job of not laughing through my sometimes ridiculous ideas and I was impressed that she forced me to account for all of the crazy things I've bought in the name of bargain shopping. Now this may sound odd but I love love non-yes people. Sometimes I end up doing what I wanted to anyway, but I at least love to hear feedback so that I know who's going to say 'I told you so' if things blow up in my face. Nothing makes me happier than someone who will tell me their honest opinion. It's probably because that's the way I am and at least I know they won't mind hearing what I have to say. I hate when someone just agrees with everything you say and, in the world of weddings, there's a lot of that going around. Sometimes it seems as if everyone (except the General...) is afraid to tell me if I have a crappy idea for fear that I'll explode. True, I have been walking the edge a bit with the wedding planning, house hunting, and ever- growing waistline but I have a ways to go before I completely jump off the deep end. Enter: Lynn the wedding planner.

When I started wedding planning, I completely bypassed the idea of a professional. I thought 'how hard can it be?' because I just wanted something simple. Little did I know that, in the world of weddings, simple is never as easy as it looks and where 200+ people are concerned it's just a pure impossibility unless Martha Stewart is your close, personal friend. I thought the magical wedding fairy just *poof!* coordinated your bridesmaids and groomsmen, arranged your tables, and borrowed 10 million flowers from the Rose Parade for the decor. Then she (or he, I'm flexible) would send out your invites on time, collect RSVPs & tend to all of the details on the big day. Your job? Enjoy the festivities! Voila, you're married & life is stress free!! Haha, well a girl can dream can't she?

The cold truth is that wedding planning is like a Rubix cube. Impossible to some, but easy to others that have the right eye for that sort of thing.

Cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll...where art thou?

Everyone knows I'm pretty realistic. I know I'm no longer that 90lb twig that once graced the top of the pyramid. In my present state, unless my teammates are 400lb linebackers, it's pretty safe to say I am now more of a 'base' girl than the 'flyer' I was in yesteryear. So, with the wedding date creeping closer each day, I've started to feel the crunch to lose weight.

When I started this whole thing, my thought was 'He proposed to a curvy girl...so a curvy bride is what he'll get.' I really didn't think I needed to lose weight. Tone & firm maybe (ok, definitely) but I wasn't going to go on a crash diet for anyone. However, that was then. Now that I've had a little more time to reflect & bought a scale to exact the weight I've gained since then, I think it would be wise to do something before the big day (no pun intended). I can't believe I've actually gained weight since I've started planning the wedding (hello stress eating!). So whereas I started this adventure not wanting to lose but tone, I am now at the point that I need to lose and tone- fast. As if the wedding isn't pressure enough- it's quickly becoming suimsuit season.

So how do you do go from fat & frustrated to slim & sexy without changing your diet or making time to work out? That's the $10,000 question. I'm dedicated to not gaining anymore, worst case scenario I guess I won't be any bigger. But instead of seriously limiting my food intake to drop calories (I get really grouchy if I don’t eat- it's bad), I’ve been trying to watch what I eat. Haha, no I'm not watching that junk food go into my mouth, I'm trying to make better choices about my eating routine. This is when being a celebrity & having a nutritionist would come in handy.

The trouble is, I love food. Eating is not an optional activity for me- I get very cranky without it. My only consolation is that God has a plan for me...and my booty. I guess it's better this way because the General wouldn't appreciate my newly skinny body walking down the aisle like this. And I would.

Helpful Hints

The General (aka my loving Granny) just called to say that my dress is here! = ) I am SO excited, I am counting the seconds until I can see it in person. My Uncle Alvin jumped through hoops to get it for me, even putting himself through the oh-so-manly ritual of getting my measurements. Honestly, I think he wanted to barf when I said 'bust' but he managed to make it through. I'm forever grateful for all of his help with everything, I know the General has been his case because she's lightened up on me a bit lately. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how it goes tonight when I get to try it on.

In other news, to stay distracted from counting the minutes until I see my dress, I started researching bachelorette party ideas. Now, I have a fundamental problem with the idea that guys are supposed to have a wild, crazy, sinful affair while the ladies are expected to have a 'spa day' or luncheon. Why is it like the women are celebrating marriage while the guys are mourning a loss of the single life? I don't think that's very fair.

So, while I'm not sure our individual party plans are etched in stone, I kind of have an idea of what I'd like to do. As I was exploring my options, I came across this fancy little number:

Seriously, I probably had the same face that my uncle Alvin had when he had to hear me detailing my bust measurements. I felt gross just by looking at it. I was grossed out. I mean, I'm a fun person & all but I think my tastes are much too modest to include anything like this. So, for my helpful hint, please don't give me anything raunchy that will make me turn 8 shades of red. I can do the cute veil, I can even wear that stupid fake beauty queen sash that has the crazy sayings on it or the blinky ring. I just can not bring myself to justify "pecker" accessories. = ( I know it's in the name of fun, but it just feels all wrong. Maybe the term 'blushing bride' was born of a bridal shower/ bachelorette gift gone wrong... Then came the ultimate:

Can you see me sending this to anyone?! Aside from my own family slaughter at the orders of the General, I'm marrying the son of a preacher. It's pretty safe to say there would probably not even be a wedding if I sent those out. I'd be strapped to the alter and beaten with a Bible for sure. = / I wouldn't even go there as a joke.

So I hope I didn't offend anyone by re-posting these lovely pics, I just couldn't find the right words to describe it and I knew no one would believe it if they didn't see for themselves. There are some hellacious things out there folks... if you value my friendship & want your life spared by the General, please try not to bring it into our wedding. & there's my helpful hint... = )

Counting our Blessings

I discovered a new wedding trend today: the ring warming ceremony. No, we're not going to heat the rings...it's about passing them from guest to guest. Each person is invited to say a prayer or a blessing to the couple before passing the rings along to the next guest. When the Bride & Groom get the rings back, they've been spiritually touched by each guest in the room. The lovely little bowl I have pictured here has a nifty string to which you can attach the rings, lessening the chance of them dropping between takes and making the whole process easier because they're contained inside the dish. Now considering the amount of people we're expecting, we can't expect every single person to touch the rings. Plus, no offense, but what would happen if someone "lost" them along the way? I would hate to even think of that... and for those of you that know the Groom & his Groomsmen you know it would just be a mess. I was thinking that we'd do it between the families and ministers to keep the feeling intimate. That way, each of our guests wouldn't have to wait 1,000 years for a turn and we can move the ceremony along. I hope no one is offended. *If you're sitting toward the back & don't get a turn, please feel free to catch us at the reception and have your moment. We'll never turn down a prayer of good will.* But compared to more well known traditions like the unity candle or the jumping of the broom, I like this. I feel like it's more spiritual, more personal than just a symbolic gesture. We happen to be a couple that counts our blessings so it will be wonderful to have something so strong as faith binding our rings as well. Has anyone else ever heard of ring warming?

Rants & Questions...

Now that I've discovered this cool little html link thing, I am in love with using it. It's almost like having the chance to create a whole, super secret scavenger hunt or something. Now if I only had 12 extra hours to do that, life would be grand. = )

So while I was perusing CNN.com for my daily news fix, I noticed that Gary Dourdan, the CSI semi-hottie, was arrested for felony drug possession in Palm Springs. Don't believe me? I have proof, mug shot & all. How sad! I mean, I never drooled over him or anything (I have my own Prince Charming in case you forgot) but I just thought he seemed like such a nice guy on the show. And I'm always sad to see a brotha get cuffed...*sigh*

In totally random wedding news... I need to conceptualize my music. I know it's super early, I realize I'll change my mind a hundred times until the actual date, but I want a framework at least. I need something to eventually change, because right now I'm at squat. I don't want to reveal too much about what I have in mind, but I'm looking for suggestions. (I know it's crazy- I don't want to reveal my idea, but i want yours...I know.) So if you're musically inclined & you have a good wedding song stuck in your head, please let me know.

WTF???

Is it me...or is there pure insanity in the world of marriage right now?? Not only are pics of Mariah Carey (& her recycled ring??) everywhere next to headlines that she married Nick Cannon- but the details of Jay-Z & Beyonce's mega pre-nup have come to light as well. Has everyone gone crazy?

What happened to things? When did good old marriage vows before God & family stop being enough? I've never once questioned who had my ring before me, I can't even imagine having to. I guess I can see getting a pre-nup if the parties are super unbalanced, but in the case of Beyonce & Jay-Z- why do you need to pile money on top of money? Just get married... I guess I am now officially part of the old-school because this type of thing makes me want to climb on a soap box. Especially when same sex couples can't get married because people fear it will erode the sanctity of marriage between a man and woman. If that's true, celebrities should be banned as well.

I guess I'm just now noticing because I never paid too much attention to wedding news beforehand. Still, I'm amazed. it makes the world of ordinary, non celebrity affairs seem so much more reasonable. Can you imagine AJ's face if I asked for a $5 million dollar guarantee before we had any more kids?! People are over the top...

May Day!! May Day!!

No, it;s not my call to help... today is actually the first of May! I'm thrilled for so many reasons: 1) that means we only have 5 months until the wedding and 2) it means I only have one more full month of school/work!! Woo-hoo! Can you think of a better reason to shout MAY- DAY?!

In wedding news, I was recently given the privilege of attending the tux fitting for our handsome groomsmen! Yes, I have officially infiltrated the world of manhood. Honestly, the most amazing thing was how little they cared about the actual wedding. I learned all about the playoffs, got caught up on my frat gossip, and listened as they bantered about who could last for the most push ups if someone lost a bet.

Not once did anyone say- so what are we wearing?

I was amazed- well, no I wasn't. They were guys. I guess I just expected someone to at least pretend for the day that we were there for a wedding. The sales girl wasn't too much help either, the poor thing was about 12 and trying to assist two bridal parties at once. So that left me. My lovely Groom wasn't too bad, he checked in with me every now & then to make sure I was doing okay & somehow we eventually managed to get the suits picked out. Everyone made reservations & paid & was happy... until I went back 2 days later & changed my mind on almost everything.

Ok- no judgements yet! In my own defense, the tuxes looked completely different when I saw them! How was I supposed to know that what appeared solid & rich in the catalog would look ribbed & off in person? It's not like I've ever done this before. Imagine the huge bowl of crow I had to eat when I explained it all to AJ. Lucky for me, I'm marrying the most wonderful man in the world & he was ok with it. I still haven't told the Groomsmen or anything but I'll leave that to the Groom! = )

It's all about the Benjamins baby...

Do you have any idea how much all of this costs?! Test your wedding savvy here- I got 6 of 7 right. Anyone care to guess why? = )

http://www.savvysugar.com/1565295

One of these days I'll get tech smart & figure out how to add fun stuff in here without having to place an obvious link... Hmmm. *Suggestions are welcome by the way- that was a hint*

Too Little, Too Late

Can you believe the title of this post is about sleep?! I seriously think I am turning into a wedding machine. I sleep, eat, and dream wedding stuff. Each night, it's like a secret leprechaun sneaks into my brain to plant more crazy ideas of things I haven't done yet. Now that I think of it, I'm sure that Granny (a.k.a. The General) has sent them to make sure I'm on the job 24 hrs a day.

I think the scariest part of all of this has been making such final decisions. Maybe it's because I didn't have a preconceived notion of what my wedding day would be, or maybe it's that good old 'bird in the hand' philosophy. Either way, it makes me nervous to pay for things months in advance when you really have no idea what else you'll find along the way. I've found that tunnel vision works for me- once we settle on something, I try to avoid everything else. I won't let anyone even show me another wedding dress. I can't look at any more photo or video packages. I can't be woo'ed by new color combinations, I have to just let go and be confident in what we have.

In some ways, I think it's AJ that helps me relax. Despite my material indecisiveness, I've never had a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't feel nervous about being married at all- quite to the contrary I'm super excited!! It's funny how my hesitation to commit to a centerpiece doesn't convert to doubt in marrying my best friend. Sometimes I am amazed at how much I look forward to just being able to call him my husband. I hope I don't faint the first time I hear someone refer to me as his wife. It will mean so much to stand before God and commit ourselves to a lifetime with one another that I tend to let the details fall by the wayside.

With the wedding roughly 5 months away (yikes!) I think I have to make a resolution to let go of the little things and enjoy the process. It's been amazing to plan this whole thing. All annoyances considered (I did want to go to Vegas...) this has been an amazing journey so far- and we're not even into crunch time! So far the church has been saved (haha- get it?), the reception booked, the DJ, baker & videographer secured, and the bridesmaids dresses ordered. My dress experiment should be here shortly- I can't reveal too much about that- and the groomsman will be fitted and ready to order this weekend (I hope). I'm supposed to be a silent bystander for that- to hear AJ put it, I'm lucky I was invited- but someone has to make sure they don't order non-matching pimp suits and stroll down the aisle with Sigma canes. I couldn't face the General if that happened...