Helpful Hints

The General (aka my loving Granny) just called to say that my dress is here! = ) I am SO excited, I am counting the seconds until I can see it in person. My Uncle Alvin jumped through hoops to get it for me, even putting himself through the oh-so-manly ritual of getting my measurements. Honestly, I think he wanted to barf when I said 'bust' but he managed to make it through. I'm forever grateful for all of his help with everything, I know the General has been his case because she's lightened up on me a bit lately. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how it goes tonight when I get to try it on.

In other news, to stay distracted from counting the minutes until I see my dress, I started researching bachelorette party ideas. Now, I have a fundamental problem with the idea that guys are supposed to have a wild, crazy, sinful affair while the ladies are expected to have a 'spa day' or luncheon. Why is it like the women are celebrating marriage while the guys are mourning a loss of the single life? I don't think that's very fair.

So, while I'm not sure our individual party plans are etched in stone, I kind of have an idea of what I'd like to do. As I was exploring my options, I came across this fancy little number:

Seriously, I probably had the same face that my uncle Alvin had when he had to hear me detailing my bust measurements. I felt gross just by looking at it. I was grossed out. I mean, I'm a fun person & all but I think my tastes are much too modest to include anything like this. So, for my helpful hint, please don't give me anything raunchy that will make me turn 8 shades of red. I can do the cute veil, I can even wear that stupid fake beauty queen sash that has the crazy sayings on it or the blinky ring. I just can not bring myself to justify "pecker" accessories. = ( I know it's in the name of fun, but it just feels all wrong. Maybe the term 'blushing bride' was born of a bridal shower/ bachelorette gift gone wrong... Then came the ultimate:

Can you see me sending this to anyone?! Aside from my own family slaughter at the orders of the General, I'm marrying the son of a preacher. It's pretty safe to say there would probably not even be a wedding if I sent those out. I'd be strapped to the alter and beaten with a Bible for sure. = / I wouldn't even go there as a joke.

So I hope I didn't offend anyone by re-posting these lovely pics, I just couldn't find the right words to describe it and I knew no one would believe it if they didn't see for themselves. There are some hellacious things out there folks... if you value my friendship & want your life spared by the General, please try not to bring it into our wedding. & there's my helpful hint... = )