Too Little, Too Late

Can you believe the title of this post is about sleep?! I seriously think I am turning into a wedding machine. I sleep, eat, and dream wedding stuff. Each night, it's like a secret leprechaun sneaks into my brain to plant more crazy ideas of things I haven't done yet. Now that I think of it, I'm sure that Granny (a.k.a. The General) has sent them to make sure I'm on the job 24 hrs a day.

I think the scariest part of all of this has been making such final decisions. Maybe it's because I didn't have a preconceived notion of what my wedding day would be, or maybe it's that good old 'bird in the hand' philosophy. Either way, it makes me nervous to pay for things months in advance when you really have no idea what else you'll find along the way. I've found that tunnel vision works for me- once we settle on something, I try to avoid everything else. I won't let anyone even show me another wedding dress. I can't look at any more photo or video packages. I can't be woo'ed by new color combinations, I have to just let go and be confident in what we have.

In some ways, I think it's AJ that helps me relax. Despite my material indecisiveness, I've never had a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't feel nervous about being married at all- quite to the contrary I'm super excited!! It's funny how my hesitation to commit to a centerpiece doesn't convert to doubt in marrying my best friend. Sometimes I am amazed at how much I look forward to just being able to call him my husband. I hope I don't faint the first time I hear someone refer to me as his wife. It will mean so much to stand before God and commit ourselves to a lifetime with one another that I tend to let the details fall by the wayside.

With the wedding roughly 5 months away (yikes!) I think I have to make a resolution to let go of the little things and enjoy the process. It's been amazing to plan this whole thing. All annoyances considered (I did want to go to Vegas...) this has been an amazing journey so far- and we're not even into crunch time! So far the church has been saved (haha- get it?), the reception booked, the DJ, baker & videographer secured, and the bridesmaids dresses ordered. My dress experiment should be here shortly- I can't reveal too much about that- and the groomsman will be fitted and ready to order this weekend (I hope). I'm supposed to be a silent bystander for that- to hear AJ put it, I'm lucky I was invited- but someone has to make sure they don't order non-matching pimp suits and stroll down the aisle with Sigma canes. I couldn't face the General if that happened...